85. Modesty has its own dangers, of course. It does not bring them on itself, but it often meets with them. All the same, we must make sure not to fall into the company of people who show no ability to control themselves, for they inject poison into those who are good, all under the guise of harmless pleasure. If good men become too closely involved in their ways—especially in their lavish dinners, their fun and games, and jocular banter—they undermine all their natural manliness and seriousness. We need to take care, then, that in our desire to relax our spirit we do not shatter the overall harmony of our character or, as it were, introduce a jarring note into the symphony of our good works. There is no doubt about it: habit soon alters nature.

86. Since this is the case, you will behave with the kind of wisdom appropriate to ecclesiastics—and especially appropriate, I think, to the duties of ministers—if you steer clear of dinner-parties held by people outside the church—either so that you can show hospitality to travellers yourself, or simply to ensure by your discretion that you do not give any occasion for scandal. The point is, dinners with those outside bring their own engrossments, not to mention the fact that they instil a fondness for eating large meals. Stories to do with the world and its pleasures often creep in, too: it is not possible for you to close your ears to them, and if you forbid them it is construed as a sign of pride on your part. Drinks also creep in, in far greater quantities than you would wish. Better to give the excuse once and for all that you would rather stay in your own home, than to be always making excuses for spending time in other people's. Besides, you may well leave the table quite sober yourself, but it cannot be right to bring criticism on yourself for being present where others have over-indulged.

87. There is no reason for younger men to go near the houses of widows and virgins, unless they are on an official visit. Even this should be done in the company of older men—namely, the bishop, or, if the situation is that serious, with the priests. Why should we give worldly people occasion to criticize us? Why should such visits take on some significance by their frequency? What if one of these women were by chance to fall? Why should you come under reproach because someone else has fallen? Think how many men there are, strong men, too, who have been taken in by charms like these! Think how many there are who have given no occasion for any kind of transgression, but have given plenty of occasion for suspicion!

88. Why not employ those periods, when you are free from church responsibilities, in reading? Why not go to see Christ again, speak to Christ, listen to Christ? We speak to him when we pray, we listen to him when we read the divine oracles. What have we to do with other people's homes? There is one home that contains us all. Rather, let those who need us come to us. What have we to do with stories? We have received a ministry to serve at the altars of Christ, not a responsibility to pay homage to men.

 

(trans. Davidson 2001: 168-169)